Blissfully Drowning 2

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7:00am her big brown eyes were wide open and her brain felt like New York city at rush hour. Don’t confuse this for a hangover! She was alright actually more than she deserved but she was damned by her deeds the previous night. It felt like a nightmare, not that she had a sobriety chip from any AA but she had a vow made to herself and to someone dear. She tried to cover her head with her pillow trying to suffocate her way to dreamland but that didn’t work. She swallowed    a regret lump that had build up in her throat. “Oceana honey you’ve messed up above your limits” she whispered to herself. Tears trickled reluctantly down her chubby cheeks leaving traces of number 11. She had broken an important vow.
      Three years ago she had had a very nasty experience with alcohol that nearly costed her her life so she knew how much she had fallen off the wagon. Kneeling beside her bed she closed her eyes trying to reconnect with a higher power. She couldn’t afford to go back that road. “When the going gets tough, surrender.” this was her motto and she knew it was time to surrender to a person who was all knowing. With tears stinging her eyes she said a prayer asking God not to let her go back to drinking. As soon as she was done she put her music on and hopped back to bed ready to vegitate all day.
       An unusual peace filled her, it was as if her problems had disappeared. She was now drowning in a different source, heavenly peace. She smiled gazing at the ceiling because she realized God was in control after all. All she had to do the night before was prsy it off instead of drinking. She realized she had been stupid to shift her eyes from the author of life. It was time to start over again this time with faith and trust.

Kay Kay Njuguna

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Blissfully Drowning

1

Cheap Cavit in the middle of the night was the closest she came to bliss. She barely owned a wine glass anymore after quitting drinking but this night was different. She had bought it during the day and she kept in her car debating whether to drink or just offer it to someone. She thought about it all day at work and not who she would give it to but if she was going to savor it in the bottle or she needed a glass. As she drove home in the minutes towards midnight she was lost in usher’s voice in her defening stereo. She was a whole new level of crazy, it was like she was a free spirit again. She got home walked to her room staring at the bottle as she laid it on her glorious purple vanity, moving her makeup to one side. She sat down on the stool and stared at her eyes, it was as though she was in love with what she saw. Her big brown eyes glistened and a silly smirk masked her face she was a sea of undefined emotions. She took her cleansing wipes and craftly took down her make up and not missing even a dot on her face. Satisfied by her prowess she stripped down and covered up with her towel ready for a shower.
    She had considered a bath but the idea of water trickling down on her seemed ideal for the cleansing she expected. Letting the hot water run down on her felt like holy water on a stray demon but she did not even move or express any distress, actually, she was lost. Oceane seemed to be in a world of candy and ponies, she seemed totally peaceful. She stood there for at least half an hour before she actually decided on cleaning up. As soon as she left the bathroom she was on the roll. Like a detective with a new piece of evidence she wildly swayed her well defined curves to her room she began her daily ritual. Oiling herself head to toe then combing her hair followed by one last thing a cup of chamomile tea.
  She walked to the kitchen but instead of preparing tea, she grabbed a tumbler cup and raced back upstairs. She turned off her lights leaving the virtual aquarium in her room as the only source of light. To Oceane this was like a night in the deep end of the pacific, she knew she was drowning but she had sworn to herself that she would die smiling. She poured the cheap wine in the cup and gulped it down greedily and soon her cup was dry. “This cup is not working maybe straight from the fountain was better” she thought as she lifted up the bottle. As soon as she was three quarters down the posters in her room were spinning and the guys in the photos were talking to her, some even dancing. She realized she was drunk. She crawled to bed and soon she was snoring.

Kay Kay Njuguna