7:00am her big brown eyes were wide open and her brain felt like New York city at rush hour. Don’t confuse this for a hangover! She was alright actually more than she deserved but she was damned by her deeds the previous night. It felt like a nightmare, not that she had a sobriety chip from any AA but she had a vow made to herself and to someone dear. She tried to cover her head with her pillow trying to suffocate her way to dreamland but that didn’t work. She swallowed a regret lump that had build up in her throat. “Oceana honey you’ve messed up above your limits” she whispered to herself. Tears trickled reluctantly down her chubby cheeks leaving traces of number 11. She had broken an important vow.
Three years ago she had had a very nasty experience with alcohol that nearly costed her her life so she knew how much she had fallen off the wagon. Kneeling beside her bed she closed her eyes trying to reconnect with a higher power. She couldn’t afford to go back that road. “When the going gets tough, surrender.” this was her motto and she knew it was time to surrender to a person who was all knowing. With tears stinging her eyes she said a prayer asking God not to let her go back to drinking. As soon as she was done she put her music on and hopped back to bed ready to vegitate all day.
An unusual peace filled her, it was as if her problems had disappeared. She was now drowning in a different source, heavenly peace. She smiled gazing at the ceiling because she realized God was in control after all. All she had to do the night before was prsy it off instead of drinking. She realized she had been stupid to shift her eyes from the author of life. It was time to start over again this time with faith and trust.
Kay Kay Njuguna