Scars

The pain is exactly the reason why am starry-eyed. The anguish brought about by the massive quantity of the ‘what if’ queries is unbearable. The pain of the curving blade squeezing out life vein after vein. Breakage of circulation from all existing and presumed arteries. You can’t breath anymore because with each breathe life slips away bit by bit. You think the eighth day of the week will be better because all past seven have been torturous. The 25th hour of the day can’t come any faster because oblivion is about to strike. You writhe in agony unable to grasp on the last straw the field of life has to offer. That’s how the scars happened.
They say curiosity killed the cat but I surely know information brought it back. We all want to dive into the deep end without reason just for the high that comes with the thrill but we forget the reactions of our actions. Each time they broke your heart you crept back to them because man oh man!!! the sex was to die for. Oh no they bought me gifts and took me out so I can forgive them for cheating on me again. Each time we try to patch our hearts together the pieces become sharper and they start piercing the deepest parts of our soul. The tiny scars that would have healed are now wounds that are so infected and are actively infecting the rest of our being. We didn’t walk away after the first impact we just stayed there ruining the little glory left in us. Walking away doesn’t make you a coward, it just means you are wise enough to go and assess the situation from a far. You are courageous enough to move away and regroup, this gives you more time to regain the lost strength and gain more muscle to wage war. The English man once said “madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same results” I totally agree with this. The Bible says pray without ceasing but it doesn’t mean keep praying and waiting like a fool until God sends ravens to feed you. No! It means pray and if nothing happens fast and pray some more, if nothing happens shut up listen to God then pray some more, it nothing happens separate yourself from the pack and pray in seclusion, keep going until something happens. You have to change strategies to avoid scars that are avoidable.
A famous Swahili proverb says “Dawa ya moto ni moto” meaning the cure of heat is heat (direct translation) This doesn’t work for scars. Scars need to heal and after healing adjustment. One, identify the scars in your life then allow them to heal. The healing process involves separation, this is hard because you might lose friends and people close to you. Cleansing might hurt because as the antiseptic moves through the wound killing all the germs the pain is great. As this happens new skin starts to develop, the scars.
The scars are a reminder of the battles you have won. They are trophies of triumph from conquering conquests. Don’t let the pain or look hold you back. Let your scars become the reason you strive to be better and not your reason to be always wallowing in self-loathing.

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