In the words of Bishop T.D Jakes the best way to define intimacy is into-me-see. Intimacy is the greatest form of vulnerability and the greatest sign of trust. We all flourish in praises but very few people allow themselves the full experience of intimacy. No one wants to open themselves up without the assurance that judgement or destruction will not happen. It is like giving someone a loaded gun without the surety that they will not pull the trigger for whatever reason. Surrender of control is the ultimate sign of intimacy, when you give up the mask and the learned camouflage skills and expose who you really are. I never thought this was a big deal in salvation until I learned that if I don’t allow God into all my space I am denying Him full access to my life. We are the likeness of God and the same way we love being praised so does He but there is nothing that gets to the Heart of God like worship. That moment when we are vulnerable before Him allowing Him into those dark parts of ourselves and letting Him have full reign. God loves connecting with us and having a relationship with us but our charade of perfection hinder us from experiencing this. Our masks have prevented us from getting full access to what God has in store for us. Many people do not know this but God can only anoint the authentic you. Having being born in a Christian family ‘acting right’ was not an issue. I had that covered to the T but that did not mean that my relationship with God even existed. I knew when to holler in church, I knew how to act saved and better yet I knew how to make everyone want to be like me but underneath all that I was just a broken person looking for a way out. I craved the approval of everyone but missed to capture the attention of the only person that mattered. I treated God like everyone else, as long as I had my act right I figured I was definitely on His ‘good side.’ My struggles, addictions and troubles increased because I never let God into that part of me. This went on until I was tiered of the game or as I like to say the player got played and it all caught up with me.
Why am I saying this? When I dropped my mask and I allowed myself to be who God called me to be I saw a tremendous change that I would like to share. Just like when a snake sheds its skin, God trimmed aspects of my life and allowed me to have a newness that I never thought possible. My prayer life changed from the rehearsed sayings to an actual conversation with God. For instance when I decided I was ready to date again after many years, at first I felt overwhelmed because the playing field had changed drastically and I also did not know my ‘type’ anymore. I spent a whole year with a realization that I was ready to date but not aware how to go about it. I talked to my friends, I read articles online, I bought books on dating and listened to hundreds if not more sermons but I still felt like I was not up for it. One night after my devotion I prayed a simple prayer and said to God ” Father I have a long list describing the man I want but I want you to give me a description of the man you want for me. I feel ready but it has been so long and I might just let any random person into my life just to fill up the spot so please come with me to this journey. if I am ever going to date again I’m taking you with me.” That was just me allowing God into my fears and in that moment God allowed me to see myself the way He saw me hence letting me know what my standards were, then He gave me a list of what He wanted for me. In this experience by allowing God to see into me a phase that would have been overwhelming and probably even painful became a non issue. Being intimate with God means you know His voice, His touch and His moves, He stops being a stranger. Just like any relationship it is definitely the connection that brings the sparks and not the other way around, same case it is not the miracles that brings intimacy with God but intimacy that brings miracles. How do we all expect God to change our circumstances when we have our lives all mashed up in confusion. You want to enjoy the world but still reap the benefits of the word. IMPOSSIBLE. You cannot stay away from God and expect Him to shower into your life even the Bible says “…Draw near to me and I will draw near to you” Search deep inside you and allow God to see into you, drop the mask and the perfected act of perfection and watch as you flourish in the overflow of God’s goodness.